Mel Robbins’ Three Life-Changing Ideas

Here are three life-changing ideas I learned from bestselling author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins.

1. You’re never going to feel like it.

Have you ever had the thought, Ugh, I don’t feel like it? Whether it is getting out of bed, starting a new job, or reaching our goals, you often have trouble taking the first step.

Many times, you let your emotions and exhaustion get in the way of doing what you want to accomplish.

Intellectually, you know what decision you should make, but something stops you. You don’t always feel like it.

Well, I’ve got news for you: you are never going to feel like it.

When I was pregnant with my fourth child, I suffered from the typical pregnancy woes: backache, morning sickness, strange veins…. During my bouts of nausea, the very last thing I wanted to do was be the featured keynote speaking at a public event. I love teaching, but when pregnant, I feel like crawling into a nauseous ball in my bed and going to sleep.

You are never going to feel like it. Now press forward.

But I pushed myself and delivered the lecture as planned because I had higher goals.

Whenever I find myself in a position where I don’t feel like it, I tell myself, “You are never going to feel like it. Now press forward.”

Don’t allow your emotions to control you. They will sabotage you. Lead with your mind, not your heart.

2. Fear and excitement are the same feeling.

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov states, “This world is a very narrow bridge and the main thing to concern yourself with is not to be afraid.”

How are you supposed to turn off the fear button?

It’s actually easier than you think.

Fear and excitement elicit the exact same response in the body. When a person experiences fear, the body’s heart rate increases, the pupils dilate, the palms may sweat, and breathing hastens.

Excitement triggers the same physiological response. The only difference is how your brain interprets the circumstance it finds itself in.

Your thoughts control whether you will feel excitement or fear.

I experienced this truth firsthand. I was in Denver preparing to deliver a lecture. While prepping, I started to feel waves of nervousness come over me.

I recalled how this emotion was the exact same sensation I faced right before my son’s bar mitzvah. I certainly wasn’t nervous before his bar mitzvah; I was excited. But this feeling before speaking to an audience somehow felt the same. The difference is how your brain interprets that feeling.

Here is the secret.  You can let the moments of fear go by repeating to yourself, “I’m so excited!” Instead of, “I’m so scared.”

Your body doesn’t know if something scary or happy is about to happen. Only your brain knows the difference, and you feed the brain information with your thoughts. If I tell myself I’m so excited, that’s how my brain will interpret it—even if something terrifying is about to take place.

This was one of the best – and simple – hacks for overcoming my fears.

3. The Five Second Rule—do it before your brain convinces you out of it.

Are you familiar with the Five Second Rule? Not the one about picking up the cookie and eating it within five seconds.

Mel Robbins coined a new definition. It means: do it right away!

Judaism strongly promotes doing things right away. There’s even a word for it—zerizut, alacrity. Zerizut is about concretizing a moment of inspiration and creativity and turning it into action.

How do you push yourself to act when you don’t feel like it or are afraid to?

All you need is five seconds. To jumpstart any activity, you just have to move yourself to action before five seconds have passed.

For example, you want to wake up in the morning, but your body is begging to hit the snooze, and your arm is slowly making its way to that glistening button… Instead, just count backwards mentally: 5-4-3-2-1, go! And then remove the covers and get up.

It works.

There are two types of people in the world: those who feel controlled by life, and those who try to control life. You view your “locus of control” as either inward or outward. For people with an inner locus of control, they usually feel empowered to make changes in their own life. Those with an external locus of control often feel a lack of power and ability to surmount challenges.

Counting down from five moves that locus inward, empowering you to make the change you so desperately want. Count backwards and once the numbers run out, you have to move.

This simple tool establishes a routine start-up, almost tricking yourself into action. It forces you to act before you can make up an excuse not to. You bypass your hesitation and move your body before your emotions have time to stop you.

If that moment of hesitation takes hold, the inner critic starts taking center stage and says, “Who are you kidding? You can’t do possibly do this.”

The critic causes you to second-guess yourself and inhibits you from taking action.

If you can move yourself to action within five seconds, you can create an activation energy that propels you to success.