An Open Letter to My Fellow Jews in the Diaspora

Dear Fellow Jews,

We are living in extraordinary times, days in which atrocities about which we pledged “Never Again” have happened, with dozens of pogroms, over 1,400 brutally and barbarically murdered, and unthinkably, 200 Jews taken hostage, among them babies, infants, women, and elderly, even Holocaust survivors. Hundreds of thousands of young, beautiful souls – our children, brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces, and friends – have been called up, asked to risk their lives to protect our people, in Israel and around the world.

We cannot and must not be leading ordinary lives. It isn’t only the media and elected leaders that need to be careful about their language, their attitudes, and their focus. All of us need to be more sensitive, aware, and thoughtful in not only what we are doing, but what and how we are messaging. I don’t believe people generally have malicious or bad intentions, but our words online and offline matter, they can lift and support and boost morale or they can deflate, cause pain, make our brothers and sisters in Israel feel very alone.

Don’t Move On:

Nobody in Israel has been able to return to “normal” or move on. Hundreds of thousands have been called up to fight. Their spouses, children, parents and family have had to pick up the slack, all while worrying non-stop about their loved one’s fate. Cities in Israel have no men to run businesses, pick up the garbage, or serve the roles we take for granted. Restaurants and food establishments have take-out only. This war has barely begun with a ground operation imminent and 200 hostages still not home.

There may have been events or tragedies in Israel in the past that caught our attention – we prayed, we said Psalms, we attended a rally, maybe called a Congressman, but then we more or less got back to normal fairly quickly. This cannot be our attitude right now. Our brothers and sisters in Israel have not returned to any semblance of normal and neither can we. It is up to each individual and family to decide how to continue to live life, do what needs to be done, and yet remain acutely sensitive to what is happening in Israel. We must be careful not to judge one another and how we strike that balance. But one thing we can do universally is not move on.

Think About the Captives:

There is so much pain and horror to absorb, so much fear and concern on our minds. We grieve and try to comprehend 1,400 funerals and shivas, we worry about half a million soldiers in uniform, but we must keep at the top of our minds the terrifying fact that there are 200 innocent people, including small children, being held by Hamas right now. When three boys were taken nine years ago, the Jewish People held our collective breath and didn’t stop praying.

There are 200 hostages being held in ways we don’t want to imagine. We must be inconsolable until the fate of those 200 is secured.

We Are All Part of this War:

Israel is battling on the front lines, but this is not only their war. The horrific massacre and atrocities in Israel have revealed the ugly reality of Hamas sympathizers who live in major cities around America and Europe. We have watched supposedly educated, respectable people not only fail to condemn brutal murder, rape, and kidnapping, but defend it, identify with it, and reveal that they would be perfectly fine with it being perpetrated against us, their neighbors, not in Israel but around the world.

Hamas has in its charters not only to drive Jews from Israel but to kill Jews around the world. You are not a spectator to this war, you are not on the sidelines. We all have skin in this and we should be acting like it.

Use Your Influence:

Every one of us can and should be having an impact on other people. We are responsible for influencing neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family by educating them on this war and advocating for Israel, or recruiting others to pray, learn and earn merits for our soldiers and for all Israel.

When soldiers are risking their lives, you are not defeating the enemy by insisting on going about business as usual in America, by shopping or going to fancy restaurants, setting a beautiful table, or focusing on fashion or planning your next vacation. On social media, this isn’t a time to mark birthdays or anniversaries, display desserts or décor, get vacation advice or post anything that is tone-deaf and callous to the crisis facing the Jewish people everywhere. (Of course, we should continue to celebrate milestones, particularly our children’s. But we need to take extreme care with what we are posting publicly right now.)

This is our Family:

If you don’t have a close family member in Israel, it is time to start acting like you do. If a member of your immediate family—a parent, sibling, spouse or child—were God forbid in crisis, in the ICU, or missing, or fighting for his or her life, could you be distracted? Would you look for or welcome distraction? Would you not be drawn to any news, any update on their well-being?

As one person online posted, when asked by a co-worker, “Do you have any family in Israel,” he responded, “Only a few million.”

IDF Press Office

Our genuine pain, anguish, grief, and worry should not just be expressions of sympathy and empathy for what another is going through. This is our pain, our anguish, our fear, and our lives, our priorities, our focus and our time must reflect it.

Focus On Practical Things You Can Do:

There is so much we can be doing. Check in on people in Israel or who have loved ones there: text, email, call, show you care. It takes a moment and it means the world. Also: pray! Each and every one of our heartfelt prayers matter, they mean something to God and also to those who know we are pouring out our hearts.

Learn, do mitzvot, perform acts of kindness in the merit of those we who cannot be doing those things right now. Advocate, write letters, reach out to elected officials, protest those who are telling the story inaccurately and thank those who are supporting Israel the way it deserves. Pass up on a luxury you were going to afford yourself and send support for equipment, supplies, and an economy hurting badly. (Also, be mindful of where and to whom you are giving. Give generously, but make sure you’re giving to someone you trust and who is making sure the funds are being used appropriately) or a known organization.

Pace Yourself:

It is understandable that you can’t make it to every rally and can’t and shouldn’t be (nor is it healthy to be) tied to the news 24/6. All indications are that this crisis won’t be over quickly. We need to pace ourselves. Be aware of what is happening but let yourself take a break from your phone and don’t let it interfere with other responsibilities. Take a moment to catch your breath if the alternative is burning out. The challenge of keeping up with the intensity of the efforts and opportunities to help right now must not be an excuse to abandon all of them altogether and return to “normal.”

My dear friends who live in the Diaspora – this is a gut check moment. We will forever be defined and remembered for how connected we feel and act to the Jewish People and to those in Israel at this time.

Our hearts, souls, and every fiber of our being must be in and with Israel, wherever we may physically be right now. We need to refuse to be too comfortable, refuse to be distracted, refuse to move on or go back to normal until this war is won with the help of God.

With great love, respect, worry and concern,
Rabbi Efrem Goldberg