Why Does the Word “Zionist” Still Exist?
8 min read
3 min read
4 min read
4 min read
Why you might not have found love yet, and what to do about it.
Valentine’s Day comes and goes every February, covered in red hearts, love notes, and pressure. And while it may dominate the cultural conversation around love, it’s worth remembering: Valentine’s Day isn’t a Jewish holiday.
The closest thing we have to a “Jewish Valentine’s Day” is Tu B’Av, which arrives quietly in the summer. It’s an ancient holiday that is associated with matchmaking and love. Judaism doesn’t contain love in one dramatic moment or one commercialized holiday. It sees love as something built intentionally, patiently, and with clear values.
With that in mind, let’s take a moment to reflect and instead of asking, “Why haven’t I found the one yet?” let’s ask: “Who am I becoming in the meantime?” Because love meets you where you are.
Here are 14 things to focus on. Choose your top three and practice them over the next 30 days.
Clarity isn’t about having a rigid checklist, it’s about self-honesty. It’s the quiet confidence that comes from knowing what matters to you now, not what used to matter, not what “should” matter, but what actually does.
Emotional availability doesn’t mean spilling everything all at once. It means being present, responding, and staying engaged when things feel real instead of pulling away when they require effort.
At some point, dating stops being about them and starts being about noticing what keeps repeating. Familiar feelings are often clues. When you pause long enough to see the pattern, you create the possibility for something different.
Real connection requires tolerance for awkward moments, honest conversations, and for things not being perfect right away. Growth happens when you stop running from discomfort and start listening to what it’s teaching you.
Boundaries aren’t harsh. They let the right people in and keep you from overextending yourself for the wrong ones. You’re becoming someone who honors your limits without guilt.
To truly connect with someone, you need to be grounded in who you are. Don’t change yourself to fit someone else's expectations. Embrace your authentic self, and strive to be the best version of you. The right person will appreciate and love you for everything you stand for.
There’s a difference between taking dating seriously and letting it consume you. Steadiness comes from caring without panicking, moving forward without forcing outcomes.
Chemistry can spark a connection, but values shape a life. Pay attention to how someone treats others, handles responsibility, and lives their priorities. Love grows where values align.
Self-respect shows up in small moments, when you don’t overexplain, over-give, or stay silent to keep the peace. You’re becoming someone who doesn’t disappear to be chosen.
Early conversations set the tone. Asking thoughtful questions isn’t interrogation, it’s interest. It’s how you learn who someone really is beneath the surface.
Staying too long often feels safer than leaving, but clarity usually arrives faster when you’re willing to release what isn’t aligned. Letting go creates space for something better.
Dating can feel lonely when you carry it all by yourself. Allowing supportive mentors, friends, and trusted voices doesn’t weaken your independence. It strengthens your discernment.
A rich life doesn’t distract from love; it prepares you for it. Investing in friendships, purpose, learning, and joy makes you more available, not less.
This is where everything comes together. Trusting yourself to notice when something feels off, to walk away when needed, to begin again, is the foundation of healthy love.
Love in Judaism is not a race, a performance, or a single moment of luck. It’s the natural outcome of becoming someone capable of giving and receiving love well.
May the things you choose to focus on, allow you to be more open to love that is coming your way.
Blessings,
Aleeza
