Those Shameful Thoughts and What They Really Say about You
Give your kids the real gifts of Hanukkah: joy without stuff, daily positivity, gratitude, courage to stand for values, and slow, steady growth, one candle at a time.
Tis the season of Hanukkah gelt and gift-giving, but with consumerism running rampant, gimme-gimme-gimme isn’t the only message we want our kids to take away from this holiday. Here are five priceless lessons to convey to your kids this Hanukkah.
Buying expensive gifts for your kids might give them an instant dopamine hit, but it won’t make them happy in the long run. In fact, the more they get, the more they’ll want.
Instead of purchasing pricey presents, try doing something together as a family. Here are some ideas: having a winter nature walk; setting up a family photoshoot; pitching a tepee in the living room and having a picnic; cooking or baking something together to enjoy on the holiday such as latkes or donuts; volunteering at a local charity or communal organization. You’ll be showing your kids that happiness isn’t synonymous with stuff. In fact, research by renowned American psychologist Martin Seligman has found that happiness levels are highest when finding meaning and purpose rather than pleasure and gratification.
Try to be a good role model of looking on the bright side, as children tend to take their cues from adults, consciously or not. A good exercise you can try with your kids is the “Three blessings” activity, where you ask them to write down or draw three things that went well today. Studies show that this helps to increase happiness.
It’s a mitzvah to give thanks during Hanukkah. Expand that by spending some time talking about people you and your children are grateful to. Can your children think of someone who is important to them but who they take for granted? Take it further and have them write a thank you letter to someone who’s made a difference.
The original Hanukkah story took place at a time when the Syrian-Greek empire was at its peak. The popular culture of time idolized physical prowess and beauty, while Torah study was banned and Jewish spiritual survival was threatened. Some Jews succumbed to the popular zeitgeist and assimilated, while a small group of Hasmonean fought for their principles against the prevailing culture. Amazingly, the mighty world empire dissipated, while the Jewish nation has survived to this day, proving once again that throughout history, principles have eventually triumphed over popularity.
Ask your children whether they can think of any other historical figures who put principles before popularity. Are there modern-day heroes who did the same? Giving children opportunities to discuss, read or view information about such figures isn’t a quick fix, but helps produce principled young people who are able to resist peer pressure.
Make sure to acknowledge and praise even small efforts by your children, thus reinforcing and strengthening these actions, rewarding direction, not perfection. Let the message for our kids, and us, shine strong this Hanukkah: real, lasting growth is like the menorah - one light at a time.
A really good read, thank you!
Great ideas for a family, will certainly implement!
very practical
really great article-I've come across this authors articles in other jewish media and there always great-thanks