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8 Ways to Create a Positive Atmosphere in Your Home

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May 2, 2022 | by Adina Soclof, MS. CCC-SLP

Simple and effective ways to build positivity in your home.

“My husband is always belittling the kids!”
“My children are constantly egging each other on!”
“I seem to be always nitpicking at everyone!”

This often happens even in the healthiest of homes. We get into a rut and everyone in the family seems to be rubbing each other the wrong way. It’s perfectly normal and we can turn it around pretty easily.

Here are 8 ways to create a positive atmosphere in your home:

1. Focus on what you can do:

Don’t get caught up in the blame game with your spouse or your kids: “If he would be nicer, I would be nicer!” “The kids are impossible!” Focus on what you can do. This saying is very true: “We can change other people’s behavior by changing our own.”

2. Reduce the drama:

Reduce any drama that we may be generating. I have a tendency towards the theatrical and would say out loud or even just think things like:

  • “I can’t stand the mess!”
  • “I just can’t handle these kids!”
  • “I am such a bad mother!”

A very good friend pointed out this shortcoming to me. As painful and embarrassing as it was, she was right. I started checking myself. She helped me come up with some better statements:

  • “Messes are part and parcel of having a family. Eventually, it will get cleaned up.”
  • “My kids are normal and lively. Sometimes it’s hard to raise kids. It will be bedtime soon.”
  • “I’m having a rough time right now. I usually have more patience. I just need a break and I will feel better…”

Becoming aware of my drama and consciously making the switch was a real gamechanger for me and my family.

3. Show appreciation:

One of the simplest things that you can do to create more positivity in your home is to thank your family members for anything and everything:

  • "Thanks for sweeping!”
  • "Love that smile! Thanks for keeping this home cheerful!"
  • "Thanks for that hug! That made me feel great!"
  • “I love snuggling with you at bedtime.”

4. Let your kids overhear your positivity:

We often complain to our spouses about our kids. This also breeds negativity. There’s a time and place for your concerns. However, for every negative complaint, counter it with two positive statements. Even better, situate yourself in a place where your child can overhear you:

  • "You should have seen Eli today! He gave the baby his toy!"
  • "Sara was kind to Kayla today. She shared her snack."
  • "I could not have gotten the cooking done without Shana. She was a huge help!"

5. Reinforce teamwork:

Parents are the captains of their ships. You set the tone for your home. Make sure it’s a positive one. You want your kids to be proud of themselves and their family. Make sure to say loud and often:

“I love this family.”
"This family really knows how to work together.”
“We are such a great team!”
“We really know how to laugh together and have a good time!”

6. Compliments are key:

This is similar to above, but compliments can be even more powerful than showing appreciation:

  • "You have such a great smile!"
  • "That blue in that sweater brings out the blue in your eyes!"
  • "Thanks for being so patient with me!"

7. Compliment your spouse:

Show how much you and your kids appreciate your spouse, especially if your spouse often belittles your children. Here are some examples:

  • "Thanks for taking over. My patience was shot!"
  • "You really know how to get through to the kids!
  • "You make us all laugh! It’s so much fun to be around you."
  • "Thanks for working so hard for our family."
  • "Our kids love you so much! There so excited when they see you walking up the front walk."

8. Just for wives:

As a wife, we often intuitively know what our kids need and we may discount our husband’s input. Instead of asking for his opinion, we just tell him what to do. Husbands need our respect, and our kids need to see us respecting their fathers. And men do have great ideas on how to parent, especially when kids are acting out.

  • "Sam seems out of sorts, any ideas on what we can do to help him?"
  • "Eli has been acting out. I think he needs some downtime with you...Do you think that could work?"
  • "Sara's homework is beyond me. Do you have time for her tonight?"

We can create a positive atmosphere in our home and pull ourselves out of the rut that we might be in. Saying thank you, giving compliments, reinforcing teamwork and being respectful to all family members can do the trick.



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