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Goyish Vs. Jewish, Part 2

May 8, 2009 | by Marnie Winston-Macauley

Back by popular demand, our list of things that just "feel" Jewish, and some that don't.

Lenny Bruce started it, David Kamp in his 1999 hysterical GQ article continued it, and we, here at Jewlarious, are "nailing" it. ("Nailing?" Very Goyish). The last article drew so many comments and suggestions (very Jewish), we're going with a "Part 2." But given our commitment to keeping our columns, fresh, creative, and original, we're going with a bold new twist. Instead of "Jewish vs. Goyish," this time, we're doing.... "Goyish vs. Jewish!" Yes! We're leading off with the GF (Goyishe Factor) – things that "feel" Goyish even if they're Jewish, rather than the HF (Hamish Factor) – things that "feel" Jewish even if they're Goyish! Anyway, you be the judge. Oh ... and we've added a few of your entries under Editors Picks. So mazel tov, put on your thinking kippahs and keep sending, nu?

GOYISH        VS. JEWISH
Paintings of your ancestors is Goyish Finding your ancestors is Jewish
Sweaters worn over shoulders as scarves is Goyish Scarves worn over hairdos as rain bonnets is Jewish
Sketches of the children are Goyish Sketches by the children are Jewish
Cattle is Goyish Cows are Jewish
The Practice was Goyish Boston Legal is Jewish
Skippy–your son's name, is Goyish Skippy– your dog's name, is Jewish.
Tupperware is Goyish Waxed paper is Jewish
Gatorade is Goyish Ice tea is Jewish
The Outer Limits is Goyish The Twilight Zone is Jewish
Olive loaf is Goyish Liverwurst is Jewish
Duck hunting is Goyish Bargain hunting is Jewish
Shake 'n Bake is Goyish Breadcrumbs is Jewish
Crew teams are Goyish Chess teams are Jewish
Shirley (Laverne and Shirley) is Goyish Laverne is Jewish
Collecting ceramic ducks is Goyish Collecting duck sauce packets is Jewish
"The New Yorker" is Goyish "New York Magazine" is Jewish
Riding lessons are Goyish Piano lessons are Jewish
Chow mein is Goyish Lo mein is Jewish
School cheering squads are Goyish School newspaper staffs are Jewish
Area rugs are Goyish Wall-to-wall carpeting is Jewish

EDITORS PICKS: YOU WROTE THEM, WE PICKED
From Ronni: Black pepper is Jewish, Wasabi is Goyish
Grace F: Blue is Jewish, Spirit is Goyish
Lorne: George (on Seinfeld) is Jewish, Kramer is Goyish
David: Marie Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond) is Jewish, Evelyn Harper (Two and a Half Men) is Goyish
Arlee: Black and White Cookies are Jewish, Twinkies are Goyish
Roxanne: Star Trek (original Series) is Jewish, Babylon 5 is Goyish.
Carole: ShopRite is Jewish, Acme is Goyish

OUR PICK FOR THE GOLD:
Marlene: Hellman's Mayonnaise is Jewish, Miracle whip is Goyish

Marnie Winston-Macauley is the author of Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother" and the award-winning "A Little Joy, A Little Oy" 2008 calendar. Her 2009 calendar can be pre-ordered on Amazon.

Click here to read Jewish Vs. Goyish, Part One.




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