Rabbinic Problems

A man comes to his rabbi and says: Rabbi, I have a problem. Maybe you can help me. The Rabbi says: Sure. What is your problem? The man says: "I am 85 years old and was never married. Now, wherever I go, someone has someone for me to marry. An old sister, a widowed mother, an aunt....At my age, I don't want to get married now. I

am set in my ways - who needs to get married now."

The Rabbi listens, but does not seem to be very interested. The man says "Rabbi, you don't seem to be very interested in my problem." The Rabbi sighs and answers: "I'll tell you the truth. I myself have bigger problems." The man, curious, says "May I ask what problems you have?" The Rabbi answers: ?Sure, you know that I lost my wife 5 years ago and the President of the Shul has an unmarried sister. Well, wherever we go, I am invited - I'm the Rabbi. And they invite the President of the Shul - he's the president - Well, since the sister lives with them,they always invite the sister also. So, at the entire affair she runs after may yelling: "Rabbi, you have to marry me. You must marry me. How does it look to all the people - I have to marry her? G-d knows what's going on between us that I must marry her."

The man thinks for a minute and admits that the Rabbi's problem is greater than his own. Then he says: "Rabbi, I understand your problem - but if I have a problem, I turn to you. What do you do?" The Rabbi quickly responds "I talk to G-d." The man says increduously "You told G-d your problem? Did you get an answer?" The Rabbi answers: "Yes. of course." The man. amazed, says: "May I ask the Rabbi what G-d said?" "Sure" said the Rabbi.

"G-d said: 'Oy, mein kind, du denkst az du ost problems. Yich hub gresserer prublems. Siz du a mamzer - loif arim off drerd - un zugt as YICH BIN ZEIN TATTE.'"