Arab Spring and Israeli Summer
Israel is showing the world how it’s done once again. This time, it’s how to protest.
Ever so quietly, Israel is showing the world how it’s done. Again. No we aren’t referring to microprocessors, nanotechnology or world class academic research. We’re talking about “Hey hey, ho ho, something something has gotta go,” protesting.
Countries across the Arab world have been “protesting” against their brutal dictators since the spring. The media has so romanticized the protests they’ve renamed a season after them -- the “Arab Spring.” The Irish are of course furious. They don’t know what they’re going to do with three million tonnes of now useless soap (yes, that’s an Irish Spring joke).
But what the media isn’t telling you is that these Arab protests aren’t really that romantic, unless you’re into that sort of thing. And the Israeli protests? No violence, no looting, no rape, no barbarism, no torture, no arrests and charges. It’s practically a candlelight dinner.
Skeptical? Don’t take our word for it. Take a look at the pictures below:
Remember the romantic protests in Egypt? Freedom square and all of that? Well here are a group of Egyptians marching “peacefully,” lighting up for the cause of freedom.
Israelis on the other hand are protesting high living costs in Israel. They are doing so by erecting tents around the country. And sleeping in them. In their sleeping bags. Worst case scenario: they may be telling each other ghost stories.
There have also been protests in Iran over the continued allegations that the election of Mahmoud Achmadinijad was rigged. See above. The Arab Spring is apparently really into fire. Maybe they are purging, like a cleanliness thing. Just for safety considerations alone, perhaps they should consider using Irish Spring instead.
Israeli protests are really into sleeping.
In Yemen, the uprising was initially against unemployment, government corruption and the overall unpopular leadership of Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh. And you’ll never guess…wait for it… the protests turned violent. Take a look at this guy. Remember that Paul Hogan line from the movie Crocodile Dundee, “That’s not a knife, this is a knife?” Would you believe this fellow is trying out for a role in the sequel titled Ali Abdullah Saleh Dundee: Escape from Yemen?
By contrast, in Israel, the weapon of choice appears to be the guitar.
In Bahrain, protestors demanded equal rights for the majority Shia population but the government responded with a brutal crackdown and protests soon turned violent.
In Israel on the other hand, protests have been peaceful. They’ve even included cute signs referencing 1986 hit songs. The Bangles are no doubt shepping nachas.
Syrian President Bashar Al Assad has viciously cracked down on his people, by most accounts killing thousands. The United Nations and even the Arab League have condemned the brutality.
The Israeli police on the other hand have been measured in their response, and have in many cases been applauded for the efforts by the protestors themselves. Here notice the Israeli police holding hands to contain the crowd. “Red rover, red rover, we call Itzik over.”
Israel has even put Western democracies to shame with their un-mensch-like protesting techniques. See here protestors from the recent London riots causing havoc. The London Times estimates the damage caused in the hundreds of millions of dollars.
At the Israeli protests there have been lots of flags and balloons. Balloons are cool.
In London, rioters have brazenly attacked police and even their horses. Their horses?! Really?!
Again, Israelis have been completely respectful of law enforcement. See the picture above. Notice police car not on fire.
Due to pervasive camera surveillance in London, protestors have resorted to dressing up, head to toe, to hide their identities.
Due to pervasive cameras at the Israeli rallies, protestors have resorted to dressing up in kitchy costumes like this gentleman who is dressed as Zionist founder Theodore Herzl. And you should see this guy’s Golda Meir costume. It’s killer.
So there you have it: Arab Spring versus Israeli Summer. Which season would you choose?