> Family > Mom with a View

The Line Outside My Bedroom Door

April 18, 2017 | by Emuna Braverman

If only I had an ensuite bathroom!

I always tell my husband that there is only one material thing I really want that I think would make a qualitative difference. It’s not available given the configuration of our home, the zoning requirements and our bank account balance (!) but I would really like a bathroom off our bedroom.

When my whole family is here for Yom Tov, I feel like I am living in a college dorm and I can’t imagine why anyone wants to share a bathroom, let alone with members of the opposite gender.

Not only does the situation seem undignified, there is a notable lack of privacy, a frequent lineup for the facilities and diapers, diapers everywhere!

But that’s not the worst of it. Even the inconvenience of having to get fully dressed every time (including the middle of the night) pales in comparison to the biggest trial of all.

I can’t pretend I’m still sleeping! If I had my own bathroom, no one would know when I actually awoke. I could begin my day at a leisurely pace. And as much as I love the sound of “Bubby” when I walk out my door, I think I would enjoy it as much one hour later!

But once I leave my room, the game is up. Everyone knows I’m awake and available for games, holding babies, making breakfast, repeated runs to the grocery store and story reading. It’s all completely wonderful and completely exhausting…

Short of moving (no plans), I’m not sure how to resolve the situation. It’s been like that my whole married life and I thought I had made peace with it. But just once in a while I’d like to climb back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I’d like to at least try to go back to sleep. Or just move a little more slowly…

Anyway, as Dayeinu keeps reminding me over and over, even if I never get my bathroom off my bedroom (or anything else on that list) my gratitude to the Almighty for all the good He has given me is boundless. I’m not really complaining, just musing…(yeah, right). I guess if I was meant to have that bathroom off the bedroom, I’d have it. And if I was meant to sleep in that would be available as well.

And it’s even possible that I wouldn’t want it. I would feel like I was wasting my precious time. Luckily the Almighty hasn’t put me in a situation to choose. Actually He has, just not the choice I imagined. I can choose to embrace the chaos and commotion and crowd in the hall (did I mention they are right outside my bedroom door?) or I can rail against it. But why would I? It’s the people I love most in the world who are standing right there.

And I’m delighted to see them, whatever the time…well, almost…

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