New Sukkot Vocabulary.
Key words you never knew you needed.
Sukkah Cookah Bookah – Noun. Tried and true recipes for eating outdoors under your . . . you guessed it!
A Sukkah Crooka – Noun. Any individual who makes a living selling Build-It-Yourself sukkah kits when everyone knows you really CAN build it yourself . . . without their kit!
A Sukkah Sucker – Adjective. One who buys the above kit.
SkipToMyLulav – Verb. Giggles abound as every Jewish preschool successfully implements this cute parody of the familiar childhood song around this time of year – while every parent has no luck doing it at home.
Etrog-ade Stands – Noun. Enterprising Jewish kids set this little booth up in front of synagogues instead of plain old lemonade stands on hot days.
I Lulav You! – Exclamation. Endearing pun Jewish mothers make when tucking children into bed at night during this festival and one many rip-off tee-shirt imprinters have stolen.
Sukkatash – Noun. My bad idea to include in the above recipe book! It’s a name for a dish we could serve that would symbolize transitioning from the period of casting away our sins (hence the ending syllable “Tash” from Tashlich) on through Sukkot. (Alright, alright, I said it was a BAD idea. Sheesh, “suffering succotash” ok?)
Waiver/Waver – Verb – The act of signing a legal release of responsibility for any injury prior to waving the lulav in synagogue.
Gobble Gobblygook! – Exclamation. Something Jews say to gentiles when they ask where is our turkey if this holiday is our version of Thanksgiving? This can be effectively shouted rather than telling the gentile he IS a turkey!
Direction Dissection Dejection. – Noun. North, south, east, and west? An embarrassing emotion reformed Jews feel when inquiring which is the correct way to wave and shake?
Yenta Renta Tenta – Proper Noun. Any woman giving unsolicited advice to her husband on the correct way to build a sukkah, causing him to think of leasing one instead.
Dwelling Kvelling – Verb. Boasting about your awesome looking Sukkah to your unsuspecting neighbors who didn’t even know there was a competition this time of year.
Hut Butt – Adjective. What happens to your bottom after sleeping overnight on the ground in a sukkah.
Debatable Inflatable – Verb – the act of two Rabbis quarrelling over whether the blow-up version of a sukkah is considered kosher.
The Elvis Etrog – Proper Noun. Famous Dance, which accompanies Presley’s well-known song, “All Shook Up.” (Alright I confess, it’s not famous. Just another bad idea from Yours Truly.)
Etrog Estrogen – Noun – Bad hormonal supplements prescribed during Sukkot that some menopausal women mistakenly take.