Last Wish

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Three men, a Frenchman, an American, and a Jew are exploring the unknown african land, when they come upon a tribe of vicious natives. The natives take the men captive and bring them back to the tribe leader. After much pleading on the men's behalf, the leader consents to one last wish for each one of the men. The Frenchman asks for a glass of cognac and some snails. The natives give it to him, he drinks and eats and is shot. The American asks for a glass of whiskey and a hamburger, he eats and drinks and is shot. The Jew asks for a glass of schnapps and a swift kick in the butt. The astounded natives question him, but recieving no answer, give him a glass of schnapps. The Jew drinks, and when he is finished, he gives back the glass and asks where the rest of his request is. The natives ask him, "are you sure you want this?" of course, the Jew calmly replies. The natives select the biggest, strongest, and meanest savage to come give the Jew a good kick. The Jew stands calmly, waiting for his request. The savage kicks him. The Jew, enraged, kills the savage with his bare hands, takes the rest of the tribe hostage, and brings them back to the expedition. When the rest of the men see him coming, they come out shouting, what took you so long, Ishmael?
"Nu, he replies. "you know me... nothing gets done until i get a swift kick in the butt"

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