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If You Boycott Israel, Boycott This

January 11, 2018 | by David Kilimnick

If you boycott Israel just be ready to go all the way. Turn off Waze and go back to using Mapquest.

Boycotting Israel seems to be all the rage. But I have a question for all of those boycotters out there. Are you really ready to boycott? Are you really going to follow through? Because there will be consequences to your actions. And I’m not just talking about the wrath of God here. So here’s my list of things you will have to give up if you really mean what you say.


Boycott Israel and use Google Maps or a GPS system that leads you to the traffic. Or go back to using Mapquest.

Soup Nuts

Known as Shkeidei Marak, this is the greatest of all Israeli invention. Israel has found a way to put something in hot water for 25 hours that does not become soggy.


Boycott Israel and don’t enjoy your split pea soup.

Soda Stream

Great fizz creator. Yes, the syrup containers are expensive. Even so, it creates so many bubbles, and you are the master of your own bubbles.

Boycott Israel and drink un-fizzed tap water. Or you can hit them with, Boycott Israel and pay for your seltzer.


This is a device that lets you know when a driver is about to hit you or even come into your lane. Boycott Israel and don’t drive safely in Israel, where people change lanes without using their blinkers.

Flash Drive

Israelis invented the flash drive that allows you to transport your information on a little stick on your key chain.

Boycott Israel and carry around an external hard drive on your keychain.

NDS VideoGuard

Protects against piracy, when it comes to online videos.

Boycott Israel and infect your computer with viruses after you download those movies from the internet when you should really be working/studying/doing anything useful.


These bags help keep out water and air, allowing harvest to stay fresh in hot areas such as Africa.

Boycott Israel and make African farmers use Ziploc bags.

Israeli Salad

Boycott Israel and eat salad with vegetables that are not diced to the point of imperceptibility. We’ll see how you enjoy your falafel with a full head of lettuce.


Israel’s favorite snack for the young child, made with peanut butter.

Boycott Israel and produce a nation with peanut allergies.


Boycott Israel and play board games that are easy, like Monopoly. You might enjoy it, but you are getting dumber as you play.


Boycott Israel and pass your time with games where you can find all the pieces.

Iron Dome

This is the protective, anti-missile defense system. When rockets are launched into Israel, anti-Israelis are forcing the use of an Israeli product.

Boycott Israel by not attacking it.

Temple Mount of Jerusalem

Jews built the Temple.

Boycott Israel and don’t go to the Temple Mount. That would show the Jews.

Wonder Woman

Boycott Israel and don’t read DC comics. Boycott Israel and be stuck with Marvel women superheroes like Wanda Maximoff, Jean Grey and other ladies with regular names.

Krav Maga

Boycott Israel and don’t go to Krav Maga lessons. Don’t go to self-defense classes where you get hurt more than you would if you got beaten up on the streets.


Boycott Israel and don’t use your laptop. We make the microchips. Boycott Israel and carry your desktop to the coffee shop to get your work done.


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