Cheshvan 15

Many people are hesitant to share their painful feelings with others. They may not wish to burden others with their problems, or they may be too ashamed to reveal their thoughts and feelings. The Scriptures and Talmud advocate the value of ventilating problems.

Rabbi Elimelech of Lizensk stated: "One should regularly relate to one's mentor or to a trusted friend all the improper thoughts and feelings one has experienced ... and this is an incomparable technique (for proper conduct)."

The value of sharing our troublesome thoughts, feelings, and actions with another person is inestimable. First, by not repressing our true feelings, we become more honest with ourselves. Second, by elucidating our problems with someone else, we may gain greater insight into them and even discover their solutions. Third, by considering our problem from a non-biased perspective, the listener can give an opinion far more objective than we could ever formulate on our own.

Rabbi Elimelech recommends that such sharing be done regularly. Troublesome thoughts and feelings should not be allowed to accumulate. Not only can they add up to become overwhelming, they can also fester, become even more serious, and therefore be more difficult to eliminate.