Mordechai Schmutter writes a weekly and a bi-weekly humor column for Hamodia and a comic strip for The Brooklyn Family Pages of Brooklyn. He is also the author of the books, Don’t Yell “Challah” in a Crowded Matzah Bakery, A Clever Title Goes Here, This Side Up, Cholent Mix, What Is This - Some Kind of Joke?, and For This I Had to Grow Up? all published by Israel Book Shop. In his spare time, which doesn't exist, he attempts to teach Language Arts to a bunch of high school guys, most of whom are far more interested in bombarding him with reasons not to impart them with knowledge that their parents already paid for. He is also available to do stand-up comedy. He lives in New Jersey for some reason.
Q: I’m cleaning out my kitchen, and I found two slices of frozen pizza. Should I split up the two slices among my 8 kids, or go to the store and buy MORE pizza so no one will feel left out?
How about the Back-Scratch Shirt which comes with a grid on the back, like in battleship, so you can direct the scratcher to the specific itch with lightening precision.
When I go to sleep I’m out like a light. My wife though takes a bit longer and then blames me for it, like there’s a certain amount of sleep to go around, and I’m using all of it up.