> Jewlarious > Funny Stuff

New Jewlarious Blog #2

June 24, 2009 | by

Our child still doesn't have a name. But we've narrowed it down to five. Vote for your fave and it will call you "Mamma."

First things first. Way to go Jewlarious community! Thank you for embracing our still yet to be named Jewlarious blog. If the new blog were a child, he would feel very loved. So many good suggestions we don't know what to do! Seriously - help! We're going to narrow down all of the great suggestions to a few of the strongest candidates and have an informal vote.

Now onto some blogging...

According to the New York Post, bandits targeting Jewish communities should think twice. No, it's not Supermensch – it's "shomrim" a Jewish group intended to protect certain close knit orthodox communities in New York. The "shomrim" -- Hebrew for watchers or guardians --now have their "bat mobile" – a $250,000 mobile security command center. No it wasn't built by Alfred, it was custom made by Ford. So what features does this crime fighting machine have? A conference room, a fax machine, a flat panel television, and a coffee maker. What?! Are we going to fax the thieves into submission? Read them their rights...their rights to have a nosh. Oy, sometimes we Jews make the stereotypes too easy.

Are we going to read the thieves their rights...their rights to have a nosh.

Daniel Carasso, The Jewish Yogurt King has died at the ripe old age of 103. Carasso helped turn yogurt from an obscure ethnic food into an international staple through his work at Dannon. Yogurt lovers around the world mourned over a bowl of mango kiwi vanilla berry blend. A Dannon representative said that rumours that the company wanted to cryogenically freeze Carasso's body and create a monument called "frozen yogurt" were false.

As reported by Bloomberg, four suspects were arrested plotting to bomb New York area synagogues and shoot down military planes. Apparently, the would-be terrorists have no known ties to Al Qaeda and met in prison where they all converted to Islam. Hmmm...who knew prison was such a spiritual place. Perhaps Aish HaTorah should set up a branch in San Quentin? Maybe the FBI could work in conjunction with Aish on the top secret project called "Kiruv for Konvicts." Think about it – instead of criminals becoming radicalized and looking for their next Jihad target, they would be looking for the perfect target for their maaser money (%10 charity donation). Think about it: improve national security and increase donations for Aish. Not a bad idea. Speaking of donating to can always make a donation here. Even if you don't have a criminal record.

Apparently, doll manufacturer American Girl is set to release a "Jewish Doll" for girls. According to the company, the new doll is going to be "a lively girl from New York City full of spunk and intelligence." Is there really a market for this? Honestly, we at Jewlarious are sceptical. But if we're proven wrong, we'll happily jump on the bandwagon. Anyone wanna buy the Jewlarious' "Sweaty Uncle Heshy Doll"? No? Come on – he comes with his with his own jar of herring and stubble that burns your face when you kiss him. Only $79.95!

So now for the vote. Below are the top 5 submitted blog names (in no particular order) as chosen by the Protocols of the Elders of Jewlarious:

Blogawitz (Submitted by "Jerry")

The Blogel (Submitted by "Kohn" and "Roon")

Bloga Nagila (Submitted by "Shlomo")

JOG or JLOG (Submitted by "Joshua Rogers")

Matza Blog (Submitted by "Mike Turner")

Nu, so let your voice be heard in the comments section below.

🤯 ⇐ That's you after reading our weekly email.

Our weekly email is chock full of interesting and relevant insights into Jewish history, food, philosophy, current events, holidays and more.
Sign up now. Impress your friends with how much you know.
We will never share your email address and you can unsubscribe in a single click.
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram