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The Ultimate Yiddishe Quiz #2

May 8, 2009 | by Marnie Winston-Macauley

Think you are a yiddishe "maven?" Well then take the Yiddishe quiz!

Let's turn our attention to the "quizzical" world of Yiddishkeit!

We recently offered you the opportunity to "come on down" (OK, sitting is good, too) and TEST YOUR YIDDISHKEIT with our YIDDISHE QUIZ. Some of you showed "genius," and the rest, of course, were gifted. Ah, but was it a fluke? A serendipitous event? Are you merely a one-trick maven? Let's find out as we once again turn our attention to the "quizzical" world of Yiddishkeit!

1. YTC, the "Yiddish Television Company" has decided to do a Jewish remake of an entertainment show that reflects well upon our heritage: Yiddish Mission: Impossible. But, in keeping with the "mission" of the show, a name change is in order. Which is the best, most accurate title?

a) Yiddish Mission: Farfalen
b) Yiddish Mission: An Umglick

2. Today hip-hop has extended far beyond Black members of "da hood." Now, "da hood" could be anywhere from Harlem to Jerusalem. In fact, Jews were among the first non-Black hip hop artists taking on names they consider to be socially relevant. Which is the name of a real Yiddishe hip hop group?

a) Solomon & Socalled
b) Gaiting Tribe

3. Yiddish and words derived from Hebrew, is rife with such color, nuance, and emotion, that English-speakers (with lots of help from the master, Leo Rosten) from the wilds of Canada to Mormons in Utah, might be heard uttering "chutzpah," "oy," "bupkes," or "Alright, already!" Which word's slang meaning has been used most often professionally, by journalists?

a) Megillah
b) Tsimmis

4. Neighbor #1 tells the widow Goldberg a widower from Russia moved into the apartment building. "You might be interested to know, darling, he's a yid (pronounced "yeed"). In the lobby, Mrs. Goldberg overhears neighbor #2 telling the building manager, "Another Yid (rhyming with "did") moved into building." Which neighbor deserves a sock in the punim (face)?!

a) Neighbor #1
b) Neighbor #2

5. For you "eppes-curians," I'll describe, and you choose the Yiddishe dish from my definitions. Simple, nu? Except ... I'm adding a bissel humor, and leaving out the obvious so don't be oblivious when you read.

It could contain barley. It sticks to your ribs, and anything else in the area. In fact, the leftovers might make excellent material for huts and dams in 4th world nations. Not only does it create the aura of noxious gasses, it has the power to knock you out faster than Sominex with a lacer of Schnapps.

a) Cholent
b) Kasha Varnishkes

6. Your choice for U.S. President loses the election by five electoral votes. You think that the new President-elect is a shmegegge who has about enough skill for the job as a traffic cone. After he wins, he makes an acceptance speech that not only repeats his meshugge campaign, but is longer than it takes to impeach. You yell which at the TV?

a) This man ech mir a President!
b) Zeyer sheyn gezogt!

7. Keyn 'eyn-hora! (OK, Kenahora!) We Jews not only have our superstitions, but, as always, highly creative defenses against demons, along with dream-helpers. Many have to do with ... what else? Talking, eating, or spitting to keep out the bad mojo (ptui, ptui, ptui!) or encourage the good. Your 38-year-old daughter got married last week. Now you may get to be a bubbe in your lifetime! To speed up the process you suggest which of the following.

a) She always keeps something in the oven
b) She tries to eat an egg with a double yoke

8. 97 ... 98 ... 99 ... ????? Who among us can forget all those cockamamie fears that the world, as we know it, would glitch itself into chaos at the prospect of y2k? Oy ... the shvitzing over hacker attackers, viruses, and yes ... the end of the world. Some glitches did occur, but all that quaking turned out to be the result of cockamamie catastrophizing.
My question is ... could I have written this last paragraph without using Yinglish? Well ... partly.
Which does NOT have ties to Yiddish?

a) "glitch"
b) "cockamamie"

9. Ever read those lists of "who's Jewish" and who's not? Even assuming they're NOT written by some "White Nationalist" (a.k.a. an evil anti-Semite), most of these lists are riddled with errors. ONE list below are celebrities who are OFTEN identified as Jewish – and aren't. The OTHER list contains are Jews, OFTEN identified as – not. Choose the list that is 100% kosher. (All are/were born Jewish.) And no Googling or Yahooing allowed.

a) Ted Koppel. Hank Azaria. John Banner. Leslie Howard . Dan Hedaya. Andrew Dice Clay. Tony Randall
b) Weird Al Yankovic. Penny Marshall. Sandra Bullock. F. Murray Abraham. Matt Groening. Charlie Chaplin. Orlando Bloom

10. FOR THE MAVEN: Bei Mir Bistu Shein or Bei Mir Bist du Schon. (Translation: "To Me You Are Beautiful") Are you humming yet? Written by Sholom Secunda with lyrics by Jacob Jacobs in 1932 for a Yiddish operetta, I Would If I Could, in the late thirties, Sammy Cahn wrote an English version of the lyrics (though retained the Yiddish title), the Andrews Sisters recorded it, and the song became a worldwide sensation. In fact, no Yiddish-language song ever charted as high again. Good news for the song-writers, right? Not right. Which of the following is true?

a) Secunda, one of our great composers (1894-1974), sold the publishing rights for the soon-to-be monster hit for a mere $30.
b) Secunda never received one penny in royalties from the song that made millions and was recorded by everyone from Ella Fitzgerald to Judy Garland.

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