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Jewish Vs. Goyish

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May 8, 2009 | by Marnie Winston-Macauley

Some things just "feel" Jewish, while others don't.

"Dig... if you live in New York or any other big city you are Jewish. It doesn't matter if you are Catholic. If you live in New York you are Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish." – Lenny Bruce

Jewlarious has developed this hendy-dendy "Hemishing test" to see if you can spot Jewish vs. Goyish

Lenny Bruce started it, and David Kamp in his 1999 hysterical GQ article continued it, but face it, there are some things that "feel" Jewish – Jewish or not, while other things "feel" Goyish – even if they're Jewish. Why? Our theory is, that it has something to do with The Hamish Factor (HF), but we're not sure. So, to test our theory Jewlarious has developed this hendy-dendy "Hemishing test" to see if you can spot Jewish vs. Goyish. And by all means, feel free to add to it!

JEWISH VS. GOYISH

Landscaping is Jewish Gardening is Goyish
Bittersweet chocolate is Jewish White chocolate is Goyish
The Simpsons are Jewish King of the Hill is Goyish
Allergies are Jewish Colds are Goyish
Monk and Columbo are Jewish Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-O)
and Joe Friday (Dragnet) are Goyish
Cucumbers are Jewish Cucumber sandwiches are Goyish
Deal or No Deal is Jewish The Price is Right is Goyish
Rachael Ray is Jewish Martha Stewart is Goyish
Google is Jewish Ask Jeeves is Goyish
Buffet is Jewish Tapas is Goyish
Resorts are Jewish Country clubs are Goyish
Ray Barone is Jewish Doug Heffernan is Goyish
Heinz is Jewish Hunts is Goyish
Golden Girls is Jewish Desperate Housewives is Goyish
Diet Coke is Jewish Diet Kool-Aid is Goyish
Rice pudding with raisons is Jewish Jell-O with cling peaches hanging is Goyish
Mork is Jewish Mindy is Goyish
Entemann's is Jewish SnackWells is Goyish
Motorboats are Jewish Sailboats are Goyish
Bloomingdale's is Jewish Macy's is Goyish
Superman is Jewish Lois Lane is Goyish
Seltzer is Jewish Club soda is Goyish
Law and Order is Jewish CSI is Goyish
Weight loss camps are Jewish Wilderness camps are Goyish
Your Uncle in the Jewelry District is Jewish Tiffany's is Goyish
The Tony Awards are Jewish The Country Music Awards are Goyish
The Pillsbury Doughboy is Jewish Mr. Clean is Goyish
Colin Powell is Jewish Condoleezza Rice is Goyish
The Catskill Mountains are Jewish Mountain climbing is Goyish
Peas are Jewish Black-eyed Peas are Goyish
Capris are Jewish Diesels are Goyish
Cinderella is Jewish Snow White is Goyish
E-Bay is Jewish The Home Shopping Network is Goyish
Survivor is Jewish American Idol is Goyish

Marnie Winston-Macauley is the author of Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother" and the award-winning "A Little Joy, A Little Oy" 2008 calendar. Her 2009 calendar can be pre-ordered on Amazon.



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