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Nudnik the Dog

February 8, 2018 | by

Itzik is walking in Tel Aviv when he sees a sign in an apartment window that reads: "Talking Dog For Sale."

Itzik rings the bell, the owner opens the door, and sitting on the couch is a Labrador retriever.

"You talk?" Itzik asks.

"Yep," the lab replies. “You can call me Nudnik.”

"So, what's your story, Nudnik?"

The lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the State of Israel, so I told the Mossad about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered a lot of stuff and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

Itzik is amazed. He asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Fifty shekel?!" Itzik exclaims. "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!"

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