aish.com > Jewlarious > Jokes

Lessons Your Bubbie Taught You

April 30, 2015 | by Aish.com

  • If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
  • If you don't eat, it will kill me.
  • Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
  • Always whisper the names of diseases.
  • If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
  • Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?
  • Twenty percent off is a bargain; fifty percent off is a mitzvah.
  • Wine needs to breathe so don't rush through the kiddish.
  • No one leaves a simcha hungry; but then no one leaves with a hangover.
  • And what's so wrong with dry turkey?
  • A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.
  • Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
  • Where there's smoke, there may be smoked salmon.
  • Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?



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