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Lessons Your Bubbie Taught You
- If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
- If you don't eat, it will kill me.
- Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
- Always whisper the names of diseases.
- If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
- Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?
- Twenty percent off is a bargain; fifty percent off is a mitzvah.
- Wine needs to breathe so don't rush through the kiddish.
- No one leaves a simcha hungry; but then no one leaves with a hangover.
- And what's so wrong with dry turkey?
- A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.
- Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
- Where there's smoke, there may be smoked salmon.
- Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?
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