> Spirituality > Personal Growth

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

June 8, 2017 | by Debbie Gutfreund

The necessary habits for attaining success.

We see the climber on the summit of the mountain, but we don’t see the blisters on his feet or the cuts on his hands from grasping onto the rocks.

We see the published author, but we don’t see the pile of rejection slips in his desk drawer.

We see the successful businessman, but we don’t see the many nights he stayed up starting all over again when his first start up fell apart.

We often see only the tip of the iceberg of success without all the mental toughness that was needed to get there. In her insightful book, Amy Morin describes “the 13 things mentally strong people don’t do.

  1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves. “Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive,” Amy writes. “Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full life.” Self-pity not only wastes our time, but it also holds back our relationships. Mentally strong people replace self-pity with gratitude.

  1. They don’t give away their power. Many of us give away our power when we don’t have physical and emotional boundaries. Mentally strong people know how to stand up for themselves when they need to. Not allowing other people to control our actions requires us to have clear goals that we can keep track of so that we know where to draw the line when we are pressured by other people’s agendas.

  2. They don’t avoid change. Shying away from change prevents growth. Mentally strong people lean into change even when it is frightening. “The longer you wait, the harder it gets and other people will outgrow you.” Amy writes.

  3. They don’t focus on things they can’t control. “It feels so safe to have everything under control but thinking we have the power to always pull the strings can become problematic. Rather than focusing on managing your anxiety, you try controlling your environment.” Mentally strong people don’t waste energy focusing on what they can’t control; instead they prioritize internal loci of control like focus and effort.

  4. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone. They acknowledge that there will always be times that others will be angry or disappointed, and they don’t allow others’ opinions to derail them from their goals.

  5. They aren’t afraid to take calculated risks. They analyze the costs and the benefits of a risk without allowing fear to block the way forward. They ask themselves questions like: How will this help me achieve my goals? What is the worst thing that could happen and how could I reduce the risk it will occur?

  6. They don’t dwell on the past, which doesn't solve anything. Instead they reflect on the lessons that they have learned so that they can look at the situation from a new perspective.

  7. They don’t repeat the same mistakes. They accept responsibility for their mistakes, study what went wrong and plan what they can do better next time.

  8. They don’t resent other people’s success. Resentment is anger bottled up and hidden within us that distracts us from our own goals. Mentally strong people don’t focus on comparing themselves to others; they don’t see success as a scarce commodity. Instead they are happy when the people around them succeed.

  9. They don’t give up after the first failure. Mentally tough people see failure as an inevitable stepping stone towards success; they recognize that achievement is a process rather than an immediate destination.

  10. They don’t fear being alone. They appreciate the benefits of occasionally being alone which include increased creativity, more empathy, greater productivity and better mental health.

  11. They don’t feel like the world owes them anything. Without a sense of entitlement, they don’t blame life or the world for their failures. Instead they focus on their efforts and turn their expectation into appreciation.

  12. They don’t expect instant results. Mentally tough people know that success takes time. They know that change is a long journey that requires us to patiently keep our relentless focus on our destination.

🤯 ⇐ That's you after reading our weekly email.

Our weekly email is chock full of interesting and relevant insights into Jewish history, food, philosophy, current events, holidays and more.
Sign up now. Impress your friends with how much you know.
We will never share your email address and you can unsubscribe in a single click.
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram