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Bernie Cohen the WASP

October 3, 2010 | by

Bernie Cohen retires from the New York office of Merrill Lynch after being a broker for 30 years.

A friend asks him what he intends to do in retirement.

Bernie responds, "The first thing I am going to do is join the New York Racquet Club!"

His friend says he can't join because they don't accept Jews.

Bernie says, "Not to worry. I know how to get in."

So the next week, outfitted like the perfect WASP - blue blazer, white shirt, rep tie, khaki pants, deck shoes sans socks - he goes to the Club and asks to join.

The Club Secretary asks him a few questions:

"What is your name?"

"Bernard Vanderhaven."

"Where do you live?

"Southampton, New York."

"What is your net worth?"

“Eight million dollars."

"What is your wife's name?"


"Any children?"

"Yes, two daughters, ages eight and six, Buffy and Muffy."

"And what is your religion?"


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